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Finding Me Within Terror

Writer: Kristen MF ClarkKristen MF Clark

In July of 2020, as the Covid quarantining was slowly loosening it’s hold on society and people were slowly venturing back outside, I chose to get rid of 99% of my belongings and hit the road with just my dog, a suitcase, my camping equipment, and my Subaru Forester.


At the time, I just couldn’t get onboard with all the enormous fear and chicken-little energy, and so I left. I had to get away from the restrictions, the panic, and all the energy of dread and fear. What I didn’t realize at the time was that I was stepping out of the frying pan and right into the fire.


I had always wanted to embark on a nomad adventure. And, suddenly, I found myself going down that road completely unplanned. It was like all the doors around me were closing. My job was being shelved indefinitely, my house I was renting sold, there was zero people hiring, and zero rentals in my community.


One night, while sleeping at a friend’s house - I woke up with start, and suddenly knew I was hitting the road. No if, ands, or buts. It was like being in a box with no doors or windows and suddenly one door appeared - and I was being shoved to that door. I had no idea where I was going, what I was planning, I just did it.


I had based most of my life on, “The Universe has my back.” And through countless examples, this seemed to be true. And that was my thesis as I hit the open road.


Someday, I will write a complete account of that 10 state, year-long adventure - but this isn’t that. While I was traveling, I received extraordinary blessings, experienced numerous, mind-blowing fantastic synchronicities, and waded, neck-deep, through baseless panics and uncertainty (just like everyday life), but on steroids. Great, big, MFing steroids.


Road-life is wondrous. Road-life is true trust. Road-life is a fun. Road-life is being bold. Road-life is throwing caution to the wind. Road-life is scary. Road-life is awe inspiring. Road-life is rebellious. Road-life is terrifying. Road-life is unfamiliar. Road-life is deep faith. And as I said above - road life is serious uncertainty on steroids. (Sound familiar? Life, anyone?)


Road-life is you going nose to nose with The Youniverse and the ultimate Un-f*ing-known. It is Life - but with all the familiar comforts, distractions, and sureties removed. It is you raw, but also whole, in a way that everyone should experience.


There is a saying, “What you resist, persists.” And I believe that I got to experience that in a colossal way. I resisted Covid’s chicken-little energy, but by hitting the road I went head to head with the Creator of it.


She scared the sh*t out of me - but she also blessed me. I’m still here. I didn’t die. And I didn’t stop existing.


I came out the other side even bigger (metaphysically), badder, and far more unf*ckwithable than I was when I started.


Life truly is the ultimate Nomad-Adventure.

💋KMFC


My adventure bud and me.


 
 
 

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